Sunday, March 11, 2012

the ear issue.

around 7 months i stopped being able to keep up with pumping.
i slowly switched santino to formula at daycare
& eventually at home.

to add on to my guilt about stopping bfing,
santino had his first ear infection.

it took two rounds of antibiotics to beat that ear infection.
in the next two months he had a total of three ear infections.

we scheduled an ENT appointment at CHOP,
but had a three month wait.

next week we finally get to see the ENT,
we'd gone two months with no ear infections.

i'd hoped that maybe when we went to the ENT
i could convince the doc that he was over his ear infection stage.

yet today after a 10day cold he woke up pulling his ear.
we went to urgent care and he's back on antibiotics
for a double ear infection.

i barely take antibiotics myself,
i think most of the time they're useless.
but when your infant is in pain,
it's hard to say no.

i have so much resentment and anger
over these silly ear infections.

anger that he's in day care,
even thought he loves attending everyday.

anger over my dwindling milk supply,
but knowing the little baby growing inside of me had something to do with that..
and not being able to hold the anger.

but sometimes you just have to stop
& realize:
he's happy
& he's going to be okay.

and i've made the switch to PICMONKEY !

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