you betcha.
but where do i begin.
how do i not get too personal.
when everything feels too personal right now.
how do i explain how alone i feel.
how can you feel alone when you are this close to another human.
would you judge me if i tell you sometimes i'm more scared than excited.
that i've had nightmares.
horrible nightmares.
that i'm really scared about getting fat.
it's really difficult for a ex-chubby girl to have to get chubby again.
i'm having problems accepting this new body.
that i feel dead.
or at least i think people think i'm dead.
i know everyone has their own lives.
but when did i disappear off their radar?
that deep down i know this is all i've ever wanted.
a family of my own.
but it doesn't feel real yet.
and this in between thing sucks.
and i feel that i'm abandoning my husband.
will he tire of his fat wife?
do i complian too much.
no, i know i complain too much.
i'm getting through.
one day at a time.
work keeps me distracted.
but at night..
the nightmares return.
